I struggled thinking about this most of the night so of course I prayed, because I know God is not one who gives us these feelings of guilt, so I just needed guidance on what to do, and why I was feeling this way.
The only conclusion I came to was to start pumping again, and breast feeding when I could, then giving her what I was lacking with formula. Sure enough, today I breast feed her twice, and pumped twice and she pooped right away. The only thing is, my milk supply went from being very sufficient to being very sparse. I then thought I had made the decision to go back and breast feed along with formula too late...
All I know is, I'm doing the best I can with what I know is best for my daughter. Perhaps I made the right decision in the beginning and I just need to "stick with my guns" like my husband told me this morning. Whatever the outcome, I need to know that I'm doing my best, and God will take care of the rest! (I don't know if that saying fit totally in there, I just wanted to say it!)
3 comments:
Hey Jenny! I went through almost the same thing with both my kiddos. Cole didn't latch correctly so there was A LOT of pain, a lot of tears, bleeding, blistering and more tears! I felt so guilty about quitting after only a week but I didn't see any other way, it hurt so bad and I cried through every feeding, and would watch the clock and get really scared as feeding time got closer each time. Then came Kaylee, who latched fine but I had the same issues and ended up quitting at 10 days. Everyone told me that it would at least start to ease by that point and it never did. And again I felt so guilty. I spent a lot of time crying about it to my OB GYN and to my Ped. But in the end, it was the best thing for all of us. I got to feed them without crying and frustration. And they are healthy and fine! Try different formulas if you have to and if you can supplement some breast milk, definitely do it. BUT DO NOT FEEL LIKE A BAD MOM!!!!!!!
I agree, either way Ella will get food. :) If you decide to use formula...great. If you decide to breast feed and supplement with formula great. Straight breast milk...great. I didn't know this when I was breast feeding but I had a girl friend that just recently told me about a natural herb that increases your milk production. I think it is called tinker or tinkshier. Not trying to pressure you, just wanted to share and encourage. :)
Jenny,
I think as long as Ella is full and happy, it doesn't matter what the source of the milk is. I tried really hard too, and in the end, I ended up letting my kids latch on, more for comfort than anything else. I always had to supplement with formula. I felt less guilty about it with Lorenzo and Angelo - but i totally understand how you are feeling. Of course you want only the best for Ella. You might not realize it right now...but you already are giving her the very best life possible. You and Jesse love her completely and unconditionally. If I had to do it all over again, I would have put a lot less pressure on myself to breastfeed and spent more time just enjoying my time with a content baby. Hang in there! Welcome to the guilt-filled world of mommyhood!
Post a Comment